Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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