it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
