Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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