I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize