I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
