if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
