i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Two words: blizzard sex
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
