Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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