So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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