as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
