Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
