hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
