It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
