I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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