she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
