just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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