there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize