hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
