so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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