why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
