Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
