I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
