ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
