Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize