Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
