he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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