I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
