just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
