Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
