all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
