And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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