Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
