this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
