She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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