I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
wow bdsm is so cute
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