so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
