did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
