he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
