if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So much rum. So many feels.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Come on in and take your pants off
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