i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
