some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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