Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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