Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
How naked do you want me to be?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
