she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
