Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I cut my penus on the lid.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's rum buckets o'clock
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
