Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
