So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
