I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
