I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
