My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
What a dumb baby whore.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
