Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I will die if light touches me.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
