Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
