he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize