Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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