dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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