Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
