this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
