My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
