How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
