you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
