Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
