You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
