its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
