she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize