3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
