Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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