Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize