I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
