why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
