You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
