I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
