I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Farmville is her only friend.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
