Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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