Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
