Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
