Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
