it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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