He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
