i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
