Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize