Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
