sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
