I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
